6pm, July 3rd: Jason comes home with the realization he should check to see if the domain name www.miawalker.com has been bought (talk about the male’s way of nesting). Amazingly, it had not, and he buys it on the spot to begin designing the site that will be for our unborn daughter. My “due date” is still about 2 weeks out, so we feel confident we have plenty of time, especially since every one tells you to expect your first baby to come after your due date. But, just so everything is ready to go, Jason fills in some text on the site, “Hello, my name is Mia Walker and I was born on the Fourth of July.” Jason shows off the site to me, while all I can think about is dinner that night. I hurry him so we can get some Thai food at our favorite local joint, Jitlada. Spicy, curry, noodles and wine were just what I needed that night.
12:30 am, July 4rd, on the dot, I wake up in a haze with a gush flowing from below. I take a deep gasp, as I realize my waters have just released. I quickly reach over to rouse Jason from the sleep of the dead and relay the news. His response is pretty much that of disbelief, shock, and apprehension. Even though we have everything prepared for this moment, there’s nothing that compares to the reality of it all happening. I rush to the bathroom to sit on the toilet and let the fluid flow from me. At this point, the certainty that I will be having a baby within the next 24 hours begins to set in. A flurry of emotions takes over my mind, as the dribble continues in the toilet. I look up and see Jason pointing the video camera on me as I sit on the toilet, asking me how it all feels to be happening. I in turn ask him how he’s feeling, and his fast paced, slightly off pitched voice gives way to his nervousness and excitement.
At this moment, Jason and I contemplated what we should do next. Of course we had heard from so many people that first time mom’s can labor for up to 24 hours, and the best thing to do is go to bed. We however opted to call our midwife Nancy, just to check in. She predictably told us to go to bed since we would need our rest, and call when we were 5-1-1 (one surge, that lasts one minute, every five minutes). So, we diligently went through the motions of lying down in bed, knowing it would be near impossible to sleep. At this point I had no surges, and the dribble of water had subsided. I was hopeful I would get some sleep and we quieted into a rest. 30 minutes later, the first surge began and it was long. Five minutes after that, another one came on, and then another and another. Was this normal? Wasn’t this all happening a little fast? As first timers at this little game, all of these thoughts were swirling through our heads. Do we call our doula? Do we bug our midwife again? Do we drain the birth tub and start filling it?
We listened to our instincts and called Kara, our doula. She was in Santa Cruz and needed a little time to get here. It was 1am when we rang her, and she was at our doorstep by 2 am. By the time she got here, I was having regular surges, and using my balloon breaths we learned in our hypnobirthing class to get through the intensity of them. My breath became the most important tool for aiding me through the process. Kara helped guide me through using imagery and also some massage. I felt like I went into a trance from the moment my surges began. I was very focused on me and my baby, tuning most everything out. This is also why we had decided we would not call family or friends until our baby was on the outside – I did not want to worry about anyone else but ourselves.
I remember being hungry in the early stage, about an hour into my surges. I ate a banana and a granola bar. The relief of having our doula there to help make decisions was invaluable. It took so much pressure off Jason, and allowed for me to fully lose myself in the work of getting baby out. Nancy arrived around 2:30am, immediately checked me internally on the couch, and determined I was 5 cm dilated. I had gone from zero to five in a little over an hour. I was anxious to immerse my heavy body in the birth tub and continue to labor in there, and was given the okay. I spent the rest of the process of labor on my hands and knees in the birth tub, allowing the surges to fill me, and savoring every moment of rest in between. I was silent in the process, using only my breath to help me through the intensity of the surges.
My mind was focused on “mommy and baby working together”. This was one of my mantras, which had been adapted from my prenatal yoga practice. My mind was intent on one thing only, and I was fully immersed in the moment of it all. I had my eyes closed the entire time, channeling energy solely on the process. After each surge passed over me, I remember feeling that much closer to getting to meet my baby. By about hour four of surges coming on strong, I felt completely worn out. The only words I uttered during the entire process was to ask if I could start pushing, since I could feel myself getting a little antsy. Kara encouraged me just a little bit more. After what felt like the most intense surge I had ever had (transition), I opened my eyes in disbelief of what I had just experienced. I saw Kara and Nancy look at each other, communicating with their eyes, “ah yes, she’s ready to push.”
The pushing was primal instinct. It kept feeling like I had to poop, there was so much pressure on my back side. I had the urge at this point to turn from the position of hands and knees, to facing upright, spreading out inside of the tub. I had heard from many people how good the pushing felt for them, like this is what they had been waiting for. For me, the pushing was incredibly hard. At each surge my body writhed and I pushed my neck against the back of the tub, my legs pushed against the opposite side, and pushed. My breathing became very loud at this point, and I felt out of breath after each surge. This is when Jason stepped in and supported my head and encouraged me. For most of the labor I needed Kara’s support and comfort, but during the pushing it was my husband who I needed to lean on.
One hour of pushing, felt like an eternity. Time lost all meaning. It was beginning to feel impossible, and I started to doubt that I could push baby out. Nancy kept directing my hand down below to feel baby’s head, but I didn’t really know what I was touching, since it didn’t feel like anything. I was completely overwhelmed, worn out, doubting I could do this. At one point, I experienced the ring of fire, a level of intensity that left me breathless. Just a couple more pushes Nancy encouraged me. Yes, you can do it – so much positive reinforcement surrounded me. Nancy signaled for Jason to get in the tub if he wanted to catch the baby – she knew it was close. One last push, and there she was, brought up into my arms by the hands of my husband. Mia was here!!!! After a mere 7 hours from start to finish, our baby was with us.
Because we were collecting cord blood, we had to be a little haste in the process, unable to let the placenta pulse out. Jason cut the cord, Nancy collected the cord blood, and 8 minutes after birthing Mia, the afterbirth followed. We had our placenta encapsulated, so I would be able to ingest the nutrients of this.
It was all a beautiful process. It especially had so much meaning and serenity being in the comfort and protection of our own home. I wouldn’t change a thing in the way we brought our beautiful Mia into this world!
